Sports

101 uses for a ‘behavioural awareness officer’

In light of the far-sighted approach of the football administrators of Victoria, below are 101 uses for a behavioural awareness officer (Well, five actually).

Security is seen during the round 13 match between the Carlton Blues and the Western Bulldogs.

Security is seen during the round 13 match between the Carlton Blues and the Western Bulldogs.Credit:AAP

No.1: So, the obvious first. Parliament. It is true that the chambers of Parliament are presided over by a Speaker who sits aloft the skirmishes and rules on members decorum and can order an eviction. But is this enough? The sight of burly men wearing a jacket that says behavioural awareness officer and an expression that says, think twice before you say it, wouldnt go a miss. Would it raise the standard of debate? Possibly not.

No.2: On the roads and highways. The special mobile behavioural awareness officers would be deployed under two categories, Visible and Invisible. The former would drive in marked cars, thus acting as a deterrent to behaviourally challenged drivers. The latter would drive in unmarked cars, thus being able to swoop on the ner-do-well. Their powers would be concomitant to the level of the offence. Thus slightly annoying behaviour would equal a fine to now thats really quite rude, car confiscated and crushed.

No.3: Train station platforms. There are, of course, Protective Service Officers, for whom part of their remit is to keep an eye on passenger behaviour. However, now that the precedent has been set in football stadiums, there is an opportunity here to ratchet up the surveillance. For instance, the level and harshness of criticism at the lateness, infrequency and non-appearance of trains could be stomped upon and banished. One voice raised in anger or despair can become many. We dont want that.

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No.4: Cafes. In the city of the eternal coffee, there is abundant demand for the behavioural awareness officer. In the morning, mid-morning, noon, mid-afternoon and late afternoon peak periods, the necessity of dealing with the tension between the customer who feels the need, no the moral insistence, to order a double soy latte, not too hot, and a long black, extra hot, with a side cup of boiling water, and a single origin Ethiopian cappuccino Read More – Source

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