The MCG. Wembley. Camp Nou. Lord's. The Maracana. San Siro. Yankee stadium. These are all not the best stadium in the world, as crowned this week at The Stadium Business awards.
Adelaide Oval? The SCG? Optus Stadium in Perth? Suncorp in Brisbane, the best football stadium in the world, according to a hyperventilating commentator during state-of-origin this week? As a Melburnian, I have issues with the world-best worthiness of both football and stadium, but that's for another time and a different set of trolls. Anyway, none was even in the final for stadium of the year.
Etihad Stadium in Manchester was, and State Farm arena was, and Banc of California stadium. But trumping them all was, drum roll, fanfare, fireworks, Melbourne's own Marvel Stadium. In the "contest" for Global Venue of the Year, it is the first non-American stadium to triumph. There is America, and there is non-America, which Americans pay little attention to, and never visit: parts of non-America don't let you carry guns, you know?
Docklands stadium at the start.Credit:Jason South
Which poses the question: did they visit Marvel, or simply take Disney at their word? Disney, remember, trades wholly in fantasies.
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To modify a cricket sledge once used against Mark Waugh, Marvel isn't even the best stadium in its neighbourhood.
It is not storied, like the MCG. Chris Grant kicked a goal there to beat Essendon in its debut year, but since … nup, nothing comes to mind. It doesn't have an affectionate diminutive, like the "G". It doesn't have affection. It doesn't ever have a name long enough to become a diminutive. It keeps changing names, like it's on the run. In America, as distinct from non-America, this is a plus. The citation says that one of Marvel's "achievements" this year was to change names, again.
But it's hard to be the best stadium in the world with an identity crisis. The ABC, bless it, continues to call it by its generic name, Docklands. The federal police can tell you more.
Jim Pavlidis illustration.Credit:The Age
When Disney is done with draining away what little character the stadium has, and decamps – which it will – perhaps we should consider whatever is one of the indigenous words for "meeting of the dry creek beds".
Marvel, belying its for-now name, lacks atmosphere, not to be confused with climate control. Yes, it has a roof, but so does Rod Laver arena, and Chadstone, also my outdoor dunny. It is not new and state-of-the-art, like Perth's new stadium, which we will advisedly call Optus, because soon enough it won't be.
Marvel is not distinctive, like the brilliantly redeveloped Adelaide Oval. In fact, it is not clear how The Stadium Business distinguishes between modern stadiums at all. Inside, they are all the same. It's why the several clubs who call Marvel home have to in turn put up temporary signs that say "home".
To an extent, that is unavoidable: how much can you do with an arena and a grandstand without going all look-at-moi? But it means Marvel, at best, can only be equal best with about 300 others.
Marvel isn't even itself, as per its original specifications 20 years ago. Where's the flashing exterior lighting that is synced to goals, for instance. Actually, I don't care. And where are the retractable seats? They're permanently retracted, like the junk under your house that you are always going to sort out and never do. Marvel's food and drink is E grade. Actually, it might have improved Read More – Source
The MCG. Wembley. Camp Nou. Lord's. The Maracana. San Siro. Yankee stadium. These are all not the best stadium in the world, as crowned this week at The Stadium Business awards.
Adelaide Oval? The SCG? Optus Stadium in Perth? Suncorp in Brisbane, the best football stadium in the world, according to a hyperventilating commentator during state-of-origin this week? As a Melburnian, I have issues with the world-best worthiness of both football and stadium, but that's for another time and a different set of trolls. Anyway, none was even in the final for stadium of the year.
Etihad Stadium in Manchester was, and State Farm arena was, and Banc of California stadium. But trumping them all was, drum roll, fanfare, fireworks, Melbourne's own Marvel Stadium. In the "contest" for Global Venue of the Year, it is the first non-American stadium to triumph. There is America, and there is non-America, which Americans pay little attention to, and never visit: parts of non-America don't let you carry guns, you know?
Docklands stadium at the start.Credit:Jason South
Which poses the question: did they visit Marvel, or simply take Disney at their word? Disney, remember, trades wholly in fantasies.
Advertisement
To modify a cricket sledge once used against Mark Waugh, Marvel isn't even the best stadium in its neighbourhood.
It is not storied, like the MCG. Chris Grant kicked a goal there to beat Essendon in its debut year, but since … nup, nothing comes to mind. It doesn't have an affectionate diminutive, like the "G". It doesn't have affection. It doesn't ever have a name long enough to become a diminutive. It keeps changing names, like it's on the run. In America, as distinct from non-America, this is a plus. The citation says that one of Marvel's "achievements" this year was to change names, again.
But it's hard to be the best stadium in the world with an identity crisis. The ABC, bless it, continues to call it by its generic name, Docklands. The federal police can tell you more.
Jim Pavlidis illustration.Credit:The Age
When Disney is done with draining away what little character the stadium has, and decamps – which it will – perhaps we should consider whatever is one of the indigenous words for "meeting of the dry creek beds".
Marvel, belying its for-now name, lacks atmosphere, not to be confused with climate control. Yes, it has a roof, but so does Rod Laver arena, and Chadstone, also my outdoor dunny. It is not new and state-of-the-art, like Perth's new stadium, which we will advisedly call Optus, because soon enough it won't be.
Marvel is not distinctive, like the brilliantly redeveloped Adelaide Oval. In fact, it is not clear how The Stadium Business distinguishes between modern stadiums at all. Inside, they are all the same. It's why the several clubs who call Marvel home have to in turn put up temporary signs that say "home".
To an extent, that is unavoidable: how much can you do with an arena and a grandstand without going all look-at-moi? But it means Marvel, at best, can only be equal best with about 300 others.
Marvel isn't even itself, as per its original specifications 20 years ago. Where's the flashing exterior lighting that is synced to goals, for instance. Actually, I don't care. And where are the retractable seats? They're permanently retracted, like the junk under your house that you are always going to sort out and never do. Marvel's food and drink is E grade. Actually, it might have improved Read More – Source
