Now, one might accuse me of being slightly biased and encouraging the lost and lonely among you to try hiring a sex worker.
Well, you’d be right.
A day in the life of a sex worker: Here’s what we really get up to
However, this is for many reasons; I want you to try new things in a safe, sane and consensual manner with a professional. I want to de-stigmatise sex-work and get people to see it’s a job like anything else.
But mainly, I’d love to send you along when you have learnt the basics – such as how not to be a dirty cheapskate or a terrible client.
As the saying goes, you catch more bees with honey than hot water. So when sex workers see someone who just wants to get value for money, chances are, that’s the last thing they will receive.
So if you’re thinking about taking the plunge and treating yourself, here are a few things to avoid.
You’re not better than us
Don’t ask questions like, ‘Are you studying?’ ‘What else do you do?’ ‘Is this your only job?’
Sex work is many people’s full time profession.
You could be a CEO, a hedge fun manager, an astronaut, but you’re still paying us to have sex with you. You’re not the one who belongs on higher ground, matey.
Respect your service provider, and they will do the same for you.
Do not ask for a discount on the promise you’ll become a regular customer
Nope. Instead, try becoming a regular customer and then asking for a discount.
Or, even better, just become a regular customer.
After all, we have to pay rent and council tax every month, and no one’s given me a discount on either of those.
Don’t send a picture of your dick, and expect us to be impressed
A cock pic is a red flag to us anyway, but thinking we’re going to be so impressed that we’ll give you a discount is practically sociopathic.
We’ve literally seen them all, so why would yours be any more impressive?
If you think about it, we really are the last people you should send a dick pic to if you’re looking for affirmation.
No withheld numbers
On every independent sex worker’s site, you will see ‘no withheld numbers’, but clients still seem to have a problem with this.
See, we use it as a safety mechanism, and – as a last resort – if we can’t do the booking.
We don’t want to contact you after the session.
We have no interest in you once you’ve left.
If I’m honest, we’re barely interested in you while you’re there, but you come attached to the money so we have to make some kind of effort.
Don’t call repeatedly
…and then leave no message, on a withheld number, at 2am, and then say ‘I’ve been trying to get through to you’ as if my receptionist has taken an unexpected holiday.
Contact us in the correct manner
One of the reasons I left sex work was because text and messaging services were being used more and more.
I’m someone who likes to talk to my clients beforehand and get a good feel of who I’m going to meet. Quite apart from the safety issues, I just can’t get on board with meeting someone who uses aubergine emojis to hire a dominatrix.
Also, how would I know I’m about to meet who I’m talking to, and not being set up for a prank?
Sorry chaps, but it’s just best you call rather than rely on WhatsApp.
You can email
If you have a particular scenario in mind, you can email us. It’s always best that you do, rather than just rely on us being mind-readers if you want something in particular.
Keep it to the point, and remember the important parts – I have a whole stockpile of drawn out emailed fantasies where at no point does the client mention when or where he would like to meet.
More: Sex
Turn up on time
This is an appointment. I know, right?
You only have the decency to turn up on time for hairdressers, doctors, and the man from Amazon.
Well, we’re just like that – in that we have stuff we’ll be doing beforehand, and stuff we need to do afterwards. So it would be really nice if you don’t throw your toys out the pram because you turned up an hour early, or a day late.
Yes, someone turned up the day after I was expecting him and thought that would be totally cool. I pretended I couldn’t do the appointment because I was in Scotland, just out of spite.
Reviews
Be nice and leave a good review.
They mean a lot to quite a few of us, and it shows we’re genuine and independently working for ourselves (again, killing that stigma bit by bit).
However, if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
If I’ve noticed anything, it’s that reviewers pick up on the tiniest details, and think that’s a reason to leave a negative one.
It’s not. We might just be having a bad day, don’t make it worse. We already have Trump to do that for you.
Basically, it’s nothing more than respect and realising we’re all human. Sex work is like any other service industry, and we’re performing a transaction like any other.
A lot of people ask me what were the bad aspects to my job, and – quite honestly – it was having to put up with the tedious clients who overlooked the small ways in which they could be better.
They seem to forget that we work in a consensual manner, and we can always refuse a booking.
After all, if I wanted to shag a twat, I’d just stay home alone.
MORE: 3 times I fell in love with a client while I was a sex worker
MORE: 7 of the dumbest questions sex-workers get asked
MORE: What I miss about being a sex worker (and a few things I don’t)
Now, one might accuse me of being slightly biased and encouraging the lost and lonely among you to try hiring a sex worker.
Well, you’d be right.
A day in the life of a sex worker: Here’s what we really get up to
However, this is for many reasons; I want you to try new things in a safe, sane and consensual manner with a professional. I want to de-stigmatise sex-work and get people to see it’s a job like anything else.
But mainly, I’d love to send you along when you have learnt the basics – such as how not to be a dirty cheapskate or a terrible client.
As the saying goes, you catch more bees with honey than hot water. So when sex workers see someone who just wants to get value for money, chances are, that’s the last thing they will receive.
So if you’re thinking about taking the plunge and treating yourself, here are a few things to avoid.
You’re not better than us
Don’t ask questions like, ‘Are you studying?’ ‘What else do you do?’ ‘Is this your only job?’
Sex work is many people’s full time profession.
You could be a CEO, a hedge fun manager, an astronaut, but you’re still paying us to have sex with you. You’re not the one who belongs on higher ground, matey.
Respect your service provider, and they will do the same for you.
Do not ask for a discount on the promise you’ll become a regular customer
Nope. Instead, try becoming a regular customer and then asking for a discount.
Or, even better, just become a regular customer.
After all, we have to pay rent and council tax every month, and no one’s given me a discount on either of those.
Don’t send a picture of your dick, and expect us to be impressed
A cock pic is a red flag to us anyway, but thinking we’re going to be so impressed that we’ll give you a discount is practically sociopathic.
We’ve literally seen them all, so why would yours be any more impressive?
If you think about it, we really are the last people you should send a dick pic to if you’re looking for affirmation.
No withheld numbers
On every independent sex worker’s site, you will see ‘no withheld numbers’, but clients still seem to have a problem with this.
See, we use it as a safety mechanism, and – as a last resort – if we can’t do the booking.
We don’t want to contact you after the session.
We have no interest in you once you’ve left.
If I’m honest, we’re barely interested in you while you’re there, but you come attached to the money so we have to make some kind of effort.
Don’t call repeatedly
…and then leave no message, on a withheld number, at 2am, and then say ‘I’ve been trying to get through to you’ as if my receptionist has taken an unexpected holiday.
Contact us in the correct manner
One of the reasons I left sex work was because text and messaging services were being used more and more.
I’m someone who likes to talk to my clients beforehand and get a good feel of who I’m going to meet. Quite apart from the safety issues, I just can’t get on board with meeting someone who uses aubergine emojis to hire a dominatrix.
Also, how would I know I’m about to meet who I’m talking to, and not being set up for a prank?
Sorry chaps, but it’s just best you call rather than rely on WhatsApp.
You can email
If you have a particular scenario in mind, you can email us. It’s always best that you do, rather than just rely on us being mind-readers if you want something in particular.
Keep it to the point, and remember the important parts – I have a whole stockpile of drawn out emailed fantasies where at no point does the client mention when or where he would like to meet.
More: Sex
Turn up on time
This is an appointment. I know, right?
You only have the decency to turn up on time for hairdressers, doctors, and the man from Amazon.
Well, we’re just like that – in that we have stuff we’ll be doing beforehand, and stuff we need to do afterwards. So it would be really nice if you don’t throw your toys out the pram because you turned up an hour early, or a day late.
Yes, someone turned up the day after I was expecting him and thought that would be totally cool. I pretended I couldn’t do the appointment because I was in Scotland, just out of spite.
Reviews
Be nice and leave a good review.
They mean a lot to quite a few of us, and it shows we’re genuine and independently working for ourselves (again, killing that stigma bit by bit).
However, if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
If I’ve noticed anything, it’s that reviewers pick up on the tiniest details, and think that’s a reason to leave a negative one.
It’s not. We might just be having a bad day, don’t make it worse. We already have Trump to do that for you.
Basically, it’s nothing more than respect and realising we’re all human. Sex work is like any other service industry, and we’re performing a transaction like any other.
A lot of people ask me what were the bad aspects to my job, and – quite honestly – it was having to put up with the tedious clients who overlooked the small ways in which they could be better.
They seem to forget that we work in a consensual manner, and we can always refuse a booking.
After all, if I wanted to shag a twat, I’d just stay home alone.
MORE: 3 times I fell in love with a client while I was a sex worker
MORE: 7 of the dumbest questions sex-workers get asked
MORE: What I miss about being a sex worker (and a few things I don’t)
