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This social faux pas prompted a rush of similar confessions and they’re brilliant

Over on Twitter, @MooseAllain had something to get off his chest after he made a mildly embarrassing social faux pas in a shop.

Accidentally said "Many thank you" to a woman in a shop.

— MꙬse Allain (@MooseAllain) November 9, 2017

It prompted a whole rush of other similar confessions because – let’s face it – it’s the sort of thing we’ve all done at one time or another.

Here are our favourites. And send us yours in the comments!


Once, a colleague politely asked if she could ask a question. I muddled up “fire away” and “go ahead”, telling her to “go away”.

— James Panton (@jamespanton) November 9, 2017


I was complaining that I’d printed something on the wrong type of paper whilst also answering a call. I said “good afternoon, yellow paper” and then immediately hung up in shock/embarrassment.

— Abulic Monkey (@abulic_monkey) November 9, 2017


I once said to a woman whose dog was sniffing my trouser leg “I bet he can smell my pussy.” The silence that followed was beyond stony. I do own a cat.

— Jo Short (@thebrainofspock) November 9, 2017


In a bistro in France, @LReb82 had some lovely pea soup. With genuine enthusiasm she loudly declared “you can really taste the pea-ness.”

— Dan Rebellato (@DanRebellato) November 9, 2017


Brilliant! Someone remarked on how big the cat is to me the other day and I meant to say “he’s like a panther” whilst deciding against saying “I hope you don’t mean fat” and I actually said, “He is my father”.

— Liz Buckley (@liz_buckley) November 10, 2017


at school a friend wanted a packet of smokey bacon crisps but actually asked the dinner lady for a “smacket of pokey bacon”

— sonofajoiner (@sonofajoiner) November 9, 2017


“You too” is a response I have used more than once when wished a happy birthday.

— Darren Jalland (@larbertred) November 9, 2017


My daughter loudly demands “cock prawntail crisps”

— Jenny Mclaughlin (@jennymaclondon) November 9, 2017


Takes me back to the mortifying “stiffy cocky pudding” episode.

— Barcodezebra (@MatthewPerren) November 9, 2017


‘Large Cockporn’ in the cinema once

— David Keogh (@tweetfoggy) November 9, 2017


Jogged past school kids last night: one speaks out ‘have a nice jog’ *cute* I reply ‘You too’ *less cute*. He was in no way shape or form jogging

— C Mc (@CMc_New) November 9, 2017


Ah yes. Departing from a friend, I went to say “Take care” but then my brain thought “All the best”. So I ended up saying “Take the best.”. Take. The. Best.

— SimonNRicketts (@SimonNRicketts) November 9, 2017


Had an excruciating one recently. Walked past my neighbour in the street. She said “Hello, how are you?” Heard myself reply: “And you, bye.”

— Rhodri Marsden (@rhodri) November 9, 2017


Saw the Doctor before going on holiday. ‘Have a good time in Portugal’ she said as I left. ‘You too,’ I replied before dying in horrible cringe agony in the waiting room.

— David Lewis (@davidclewis) November 9, 2017


I answered the phone at work and instead of saying ‘Can I help you’ or ‘Please hold for a moment’ I said ‘Can I hold you’

— AnnieR (@biggybaggyboggy) November 9, 2017


It’s so easy to do especially if you’re not really concentrating. Another time I answeeed the phone and said ‘Hello. Can you help me?’

— AnnieR (@biggybaggyboggy) November 9, 2017

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